The Many Modes Implied by Goblin Mode

Goblin Mode was 2022’s word (phrase?) of the year. Sayeth the Dictionarians: 

‘Goblin mode’ – a slang term, often used in the expressions ‘in goblin mode’ or ‘to go goblin mode’ – is ‘a type of behaviour which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.’

It’s great to see goblins in the news. Grimy goblins robbing an Arby’s. Greasy gobbos licking pennies out of car ashtrays. Dumpster-diving greenfolk bursting forth from the alley to trod on the flowers and fart in the mailboxes. It’s goblin mode, baby. Goblin mode! 

Yes, you can play D&D, or an even more specialized game, and be an actual goblin living the goblin-mode life. That’s easy. But what if ALL of the cool, modern, sexy OC species were actually trashy, filthy, dungeon creatures at heart? Just shameless little weirdos from the mythic underworld, living nasty dungeon lives? What would that look like?

Tiefling Mode

They crawled out of the deepest levels of the dungeon to breathe hot sulfur on your cheek when you were almost done with a long rest, whispering “wanna party up?” Fiendish heritage does not make them evil so much as allergic to the concept of a rigid moral system. The surface world is a wonderfully fragile candy store. Don’t blame them if something’s on fire, it could have been anyone (it's them).

Elf Mode

You think these magical forest dwellers are graceful and austerely beautiful? You, a FOOL, have been deceived. The nasty side of their fey cousins plays up strong, and their most visible form of artistic expression is using your insides to mark the edge of the forest where humans must not venture. You like the eerie flute music drifting out of the woods? What do you think those flutes are made from? It’s not wood…

Dragonborn Mode

As a bugbear is to a goblin, so the dragonborn is to the lowly kobold. Released from the lair-building instinct and long slumbers of their chrysomaniac cousins (the true dragons), the dragonborn are greed freed, instinctively lusting for treasure before they even have any idea of what they would DO with it. Is this not consummate old school dungeon life, pursuing treasure for its own sake?

Goliath Mode

Less Kratos from God of War, more Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Imagine what your putative husbando smells like after spending six months in the mountains wrestling yetis and drinking vodka made from hag’s egg potatoes.

Tabaxi Mode

Begin with the 2019 Cats movie. It only gets worse from there. Eating bugs. Licking netherzones. Chasing after Dancing Lights in the middle of combat. Have you MET a cat? They’re the real world’s goblins.