Alignment Languages Were Good, Actually

Previously: Putting the “Align” Back in Alignment 

AD&D 1E DMG, page 24:

“Each alignment language is constructed to allow recognition of like-aligned creatures and to discuss the precepts of the alignment in detail. Otherwise, the tongue will permit only the most rudimentary communication with a vocabulary limited to a few score words. The speaker could inquire of the listener's state of health, ask about hunger, thirst, or degree of tiredness. A few other basic conditions and opinions could be expressed, but no more. The specialty tongues of Druidic and the Thieves' Cant are designed to handle conversations pertaining to things druidical on the one hand and thievery, robbery and the disposal of stolen goods on the other. Druids could discuss at length and in detail the state of the crops, weather, animal husbandry and foresting; but warfare, politics, adventuring, and like matter would be impossible to detail with the language.”

Yeah, it raises a lot of questions. How early in life does one gain an alignment language? Is this learned by imitation or taught formally? Does it vary regionally like most languages do, or is it moral Esperanto?

Druidic and thieves’ cant are easier to place in the world. We can intuitively put together how characters in these classes would have learned these languages. They’re both evocative ideas that don’t require such mental gymnastics.

So why don't we just do that for all the alignment languages? Once the focus on profession and practical faction is clear, it’s a lot easier for players to grok. But the above paragraph only identifies two languages. How would we fill out the rest of the nine-grid chart?

• Lawful Good. The pure language from before The Fall. 
• Lawful Neutral. Mathematical speech, the aspiration of Babel.
• Lawful Evil. The language of command, ala They Live or the Manchurian Candidate. The language of the tyrant.
• Neutral Good. A polyglot creole of languages old and new, spread through trade, treaty, and camaraderie around a shared fire. 
• Neutral. Druidic. The secret tongue of plants and beasts.
• Neutral Evil. A base tongue of unrestrained id and unfettered ambition. A grim handshake between two sociopaths, a gesture worth a thousand words.
• Chaotic Good. The language of revolution and rebellion. Graffiti and samizdat. 
• Chaotic Neutral. Thieves cant, the language of rogues, spies, smugglers, and anarchists. 
• Chaotic Evil. The whispers of the Beast. The voice speaking directly from the dark place of the soul.

Sure, some of these are closer to the grounded fiction of the game than others. Some would require a bit more work to place in the world. But it’s not so hard to imagine tying them to factions and tangible hooks in the game world, in the same way druidic and thieves cant already work.