Tuesday, October 13, 2026

The World's Largest Rewrite: Octo-Cultists, Bug Ecology, Tortoise Tsar

Previous posts in this series are here if you want to try to understand what is going on here. On to the monsters.

#3: Bandit. Whereas OSE brigands are fighter-coded ruffians, the bandits are the thief-derived scoundrels. Going back to the Overhaul mercenary entry, we learn that their mission is to bulk up their numbers. So they’re here at the prison to recruit anyone (or anything) who is close to escaping, particularly if their help indebts the creature to them. In contrast to the loud and obvious brigand group, these bandits are keeping a low profile. 

The OSE entry notes they can have a leader of 2nd level or higher (any human class). Rolling randomly, we get magic-user. Using the Overhaul’s adventurer table we get “Smith M. Ledgermain,” which is sounds like a wizard forced to make up a fake name on the spot. He has a fancy feathered hat, is a spy, and has a hypnotic silver hand mirror. OK, so the bandits are here to recruit, but Ledgermain is also after a person of interest within the prison; probably someone he wants to kill. His bandit gang doesn’t know about this secret objective.

#124: Troll. The Overhaul entry gives us some good material to add around the classic vanilla OSE block. Apparently people call these trolls “night howlers.” While I don’t have any issue with players metagaming a troll encounter (because metagaming is good gaming), there’s an extra challenge if the DM never says the word “troll.” It requires the players to make the connection in order to gain the advantage. These troll pa-troll-ees (maybe? idk) specialize in “tragic ransoms.” They’re rubberized, so they can squeeze under some of the prison doors. Probably some kind of acid runoff from the black dragon is helping to keep them imprisoned. And of course these trolls are the source of our thouls.

#68: Lizard, Giant. Picking randomly we get the horned chameleon, who has a sticky tongue-grab attack, camouflage, and a knock-down tail attack. That’s plenty of action for a brute like this. We’ll treat these as steeds and guardians for our trepan lizards, who clearly need some muscle to support their brainy rule.

#1: Acolyte. There are seven of them, so they get a third-level leader. The Overhaul sends us to the cultist entry, where we learn that they lair in an ancient amphitheater, and their dark purpose is the manipulation of political events. Maybe their leader is Smith M. Ledgermain’s target? 

These cultists want to complete a ritual to summon an obedient avatar of their god, and the ritual requires crystals, bone, and ash, so they’re trying to collect those items within the dungeon. Apparently they follow Garnsolex the Kraken! Perhaps Garnsolex is one of those giant intelligent octopi we heard about earlier. Again using the Overhaul’s adventurer table to flesh out the acolyte's leader, we learn they are Ren Cullowsong, who has an octoparrot advisor. Perfect.

#129: Warp Beast. This is OSE’s non-trademark-infringing displacer beast. As previously mentioned, they hate -- and are hated in turn -- by blink dogs. The Overhaul, in yet another taxonomic choice I appreciate and agree with, groups both displacer beasts and blink dogs under the category of “shivered beast,” a catch-all for creatures that can violate Euclidian reality in some way. 

The entry includes a “displaced cat” to meet the demand for vanilla displacer beasts, but I’m more interested in one of the novel types from the shivered beast variant table. Choosing randomly, I get the underdog, a cunning lizard-hound that can appear or disappear under any unobserved space. It experiences gravity in an inverted way, and has a double climb speed. I like this as an imprisoned creature that is trying to escape, but is also the principal foe of the blink dogs.


An animated gif depicting the demon cat from the TV show Adventure Time, has a displacer-beast-like aesthetic


#98: Robber Fly. Three-foot long flies that hunt killer bees. Once again, the implied ecosystem is interesting. They hunt killer bees and are immune to their venom. They are in turn preyed on by giant tiger beetles. Our intelligent factions are going to want to exploit robber flies too, because they can kill bees, which control the valuable honey. Not every monster needs to be part of an ecological chain like this, but done in moderation, it really improves what could be “just another giant bug” in a vacuum. 

#66: Leech, Giant. Speaking of giant bugs... here's the leeches. While OSE giant leeches have six times as many hit dice as stirges, they only drain at twice the rate. The Overhaul gives us a few entries to borrow from, including marine worm. The lamprey variant heals when it bites. That works for me.

#33: Dryad. Dryads must stay near their trees, so they're helpful to the celestials as "guardians" who won't just leave. Perhaps the prison builders enticed them to move here by promising to protect their trees. They’ve charmed both intruders and prison escapees and are becoming increasingly paranoid as the local situation gets worse. One or more of the dryads is injured and that’s why the unicorn is here.

#43: Ghoul. I considered creating a ghoul that is closer to the ghūl origins of the term (a shapeshifting “demon,” something like a djinni), but I think it would require a deeper study of the mythology to do it justice. For now, we will stick with the familiar fantasy genre representation of the ghoul as a corpse-eating, paralysis-inducing undead creature. Monster Overhaul, take the wheel.

The ghouls’ corpse acquisition scheme is a massive tunnel collapse. Perhaps they’re digging under the prison, hoping to undermine sections of the prison and feast upon the prisoners. No one will miss those terrible prisoners, right? The ghouls will even parlay with the PCs, seeking information about the greatest concentrations of sapient creatures (the Overhaul notes they specifically eat the flesh of intelligent creatures). This would be an interesting moral dilemma for the PCs; would they be willing to ally with the ghouls, in the interest of taking out a “worse” faction of non-undead creatures?

#31: Dragon Turtle. The dragon turtle fills the same well-populated sea monster niche as the sea serpent and giant tentacled things, although it has a bit more flair (steam breath, mistaken for an island). But we planned for this. 

Most of the Monster Overhaul covers the classic monsters one would expect in a fantasy RPG; goblins, dragons, zombies, normal humans. But I appreciate that the book also found room for unique creations of the blogging world, and the dragon turtle entry gives us an excuse to use one of them: the tortoise tsar.

This is a coal-eating, serf-oppressing turtle who eats coal. It is easy to imagine him ending up in prison. Over an IRL year ago, we learned that our fire elemental was summoned by the tsar, so he currently has some power within the prison. He’s currently scheming to get (1. more coal (2. more peasants and (3. his freedom. Tsar Yuri VIII has 11 peasants, listless and unmotivated, probably inmates he has recruited. He is noisily venting excess steam pressure and demanding tolls for passage. He probably controls a chokepoint in the dungeon, where he can use the steam to heat a metal passage or bridge to a dangerously hot temperature for anyone who refuses to pay his tolls. 




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The World's Largest Rewrite: Octo-Cultists, Bug Ecology, Tortoise Tsar

Previous posts in this series are here if you want to try to understand what is going on here. On to the monsters. #3: Bandit. Whereas OSE...